Financial therapy for money fights: How to stop arguing about the same things

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People tend to think that financial matters are all about low income and budgeting. However, money is full of emotional associations of fear, guilt, control, and security. This is why couples argue over money, people get stressed when checking bank accounts, and people can’t save money despite their best efforts. Financial therapy emerges where money management ceases to help.

Our behaviour with money is influenced early on by what we practiced when we were young. Some people learn to save money stringently because, early on, money was less available, while others tend to overspend because spending money gives them a sense of freedom and reward. These behaviours tend to be running in the background and dictate financial decisions without our even realizing it. Financial therapy allows these emotional influences to be unearthed, making financial decisions conscious rather than reactive.

A financial advisor is someone who is interested in numbers, rates of return, and planning. A financial therapist is someone who is interested in behaviour, beliefs, and communication. It is important to note that the aim is not to judge and dictate how people spend and when, but to comprehend patterns of why they act in a similar way. When that is accomplished, financial decisions become much simpler to adhere to.

Money in the relationship can represent many things, such as control, security, and self-esteem. One person might associate saving with security, while the other associates saving with limitation. Conversations about money can become contentious if the underlying meaning is not explored. Financial counselling provides a safe environment where all these aspects can be discussed.

Excessive spending is not a problem of ignorance about boundaries or limits. Often, it is a coping strategy for stress, boredom, or emotional comfort. Based on the guilt triggered by excessive spending, more stress is generated, thereby continuing this process. Financial therapy can overcome these causes and resolve these issues by using better coping mechanisms. Instead of making spending decisions out of stress or boredom, these decisions can be made in a relaxed manner.

Individuals with money anxiety tend to feel out of control even when their financial matters are in order. Financial therapy is based on building trust in one's skills in handling money.

Small successes, achievable goals, and changes in attitude overcome fear. Over time, managing money through checking accounts or financial decisions becomes non-daunting.

Financial therapy is also beneficial not only in times of crisis but also when going through transition phases, such as marriage, job transition, inheritance, or when one's business faces setbacks. It assists an individual in making financial decisions based on personal values and not reactions. Financial therapy is ideal even if one is financially successful because financial issues are still causing stress.

Finances never occur in a vacuum without the presence of emotions. Although financial woes seem to reappear ignored, sometimes the most effective course of action involves examining the subconscious mind instead of cutting expenses once more. Financial therapy encourages the understanding of the mind set in which harmony with finances begins.