When Hema Malini got the title of 'first lady of second marriages' after her wedding with Dharmendra: Nobody said anything in front of me but...

Hema Malini and Dharmendra throwback

Hema Malini and Dharmendra, one of Bollywood’s most talked-about couples, have long been a subject of media fascination, especially due to the fact that Hema is the actor's second wife.

Their love story has seen both adoration and controversy, as Dharmendra was still married to Prakash Kaur when he fell in love with the iconic actress.

Despite the storm of public opinion, Hema has always spoken candidly about her relationship with Dharmendra, her feelings for him, and how she handled the accusations that came their way.

In her biography Hema Malini: Beyond the Dream Girl, the actress reflects on the complexity of falling in love with a married man. She reveals that she was fully aware of the criticism that surrounded their relationship, but it did not deter her from pursuing her happiness.

"I just knew that he made me happy. And all I wanted was happiness," she stated in the book, explaining the purity of her feelings for Dharmendra, regardless of the judgement they both received from society.

Hema was fully cognisant of the whispers and harsh words that followed her every move, particularly about her involvement with a married man.

She recalls, “Fingers were pointed. Accusations were flung at us. Nobody said anything in front of me, but I was not a fool. I knew that they discussed me behind my back. It wasn’t easy.”

Hema also recalls how she was even labelled the "first lady of second marriages," a title that was a reflection of the public’s disdain and harsh judgement. Despite this, she never let the accusations define her or her relationship.

Her parents, who were traditional and conservative, did not approve of their daughter’s love affair with a married man. When they discovered Hema’s feelings for Dharmendra, they attempted to convince her to marry someone else.

However, Hema was resolute in her decision. She was determined to marry Dharmendra, and she took matters into her own hands.

As she reveals in her conversation with the talk-show host Simi Garewal, “I called him and I said, ‘You’ll have to marry me now.’ He said, ‘Yeah, I’ll marry you.’ So that is how it happened." In an era when women were often expected to adhere to traditional norms, Hema’s boldness in taking charge of her own love story marked a pivotal moment in both her personal life and the history of Bollywood.

Being the second wife of such a prominent actor, especially one who had an established family with his first wife, presented a unique set of challenges.

Hema, however, was realistic about her role and the public perception that came with it. In an interview with Lehren Retro, she reflected on what it meant to be in such a position, stating, “Nobody wants to be like that; it happens. Automatically, what happens, you have to accept. Otherwise, nobody will feel like they want to live their life like this. Every woman wants to have a husband, children, like a normal family. But somewhere, it went out of the way… I am not feeling bad about it, or sulking about it. I am happy with myself. I have my two children, and I have brought them up very well."

This self-assurance in her words shows the strength of character that Hema displayed throughout her marriage.

She accepted the circumstances, but also found peace and joy in her own life. Her children, whom she raised with immense dedication, were a testament to her commitment to her family. Despite the public’s speculation and the challenges that came with her relationship, she focused on creating a life of her own, one that was filled with purpose and pride.

Moreover, in her autobiography, Hema spoke candidly about how society sometimes viewed her life with a sense of pity. She was keenly aware of how some people would discuss her with sympathy, as if she was a woman waiting around, mourning the absence of her husband.

She addressed this perception directly: “I know there are sections of people who discuss me with pity. They make me out to be someone who is weeping and mourning at home, pining for my man who is not around. I am not a police officer who needs to keep tabs on him. And I don’t need to show people a roll-call register as to how many days he visits me and how many days he doesn’t."

This bold statement is a clear rebuttal to the misconceptions that were often imposed on her by the public.

She was not someone who needed to prove anything to others or live her life by their standards. Hema continued, “He knows his duty as a father and I’ve never had to remind him of it. Dharam-ji still treats me like he did in the initial days," showcasing that despite the public’s opinions, Dharmendra remained a loving and devoted partner, fulfilling his role both as a father and as a husband.

The way Hema Malini navigated the complexities of her personal life, balancing her role as a second wife and a mother, shows her resilience and ability to rise above external challenges.

She not only proved that love does not conform to societal expectations but also demonstrated how, despite public scrutiny, one can remain grounded and focused on building a fulfilling life.

Her life and relationship with Dharmendra, filled with both struggles and triumphs, serve as a testament to her strength, independence, and unwavering love.

In today’s world, where many still view marriage and relationships through a traditional lens, Hema Malini’s journey is a reminder that happiness and love can flourish even in the most unexpected of circumstances.