After completing his required military service, BTS leader Kim Namjoon, also known to fans worldwide as RM, has formally returned.
The rapper and lyricist shared an intimate and frank account of his personal battles with anxiety and insomnia during his army service in his first solo livestream after being discharged.
Opening up to ARMYs, RM described his time in service as mentally and emotionally draining. “I lived like a zombie,” he confessed, speaking about months plagued by sleepless nights and overwhelming mental exhaustion.
He disclosed that he once went 78 hours without sleeping due to severe insomnia. Even simple daily tasks became difficult due to the lack of sleep and growing anxiety.
The impact on his creativity was significant—RM said he found himself unable to write music for the first time since he was 14 years old. “I couldn’t write songs,” he admitted, explaining how he instead turned to journaling to cope and maintain some sense of connection to himself.
“Songwriting felt unreachable,” he added, expressing just how far he felt from his usual self during that period.
To manage his condition, RM began seeking professional help over a year ago, consulting a neuropsychiatrist and starting medication to aid with his sleep and mental well-being. While he assured fans that he’s feeling “a little better” now, he acknowledged that he continues to rely on medication and that the fear of nightfall still lingers.
Fans were deeply moved by his openness and praised him for shedding light on mental health—something still often stigmatised, especially among public figures in South Korea.
One especially touching moment during the livestream saw RM share a heartfelt message with his fanbase: “Damnnn miss you, ARMYs. I was in the army, but I couldn’t see you in the army, you know what I mean? I was in the army, but there was no ARMY.”
Excitingly, RM hinted at a major comeback, telling fans: “Stay tuned and be there for our next ALBUM. It’s gonna be HUGE.” His words sparked a flurry of anticipation online.
Fans celebrated the return of RM and fellow bandmate V, who was released the same day, outside HYBE's Seoul headquarters. To see the poignant moment firsthand, some fans from other countries even travelled to South Korea.
RM concluded with a message of gratitude: “I’m ready to hit the ground running again as RM of BTS. Thank you to everyone who waited and looked after us.”
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