Funnycontrol | On Independence Day, 5 ways to make you financially independent from yourself

How procrastination and spending long weekends in office are good for saving up. (Photo by Vlad Chetan via Pexels)

The biggest threat to your financial independence is yourself. This Independence Day, Funnycontrol shares 5 steps to save your finances and yourself from yourself.

1. NPS or National Procrastination Scheme: Every time you feel like making a foolish impulsive purchase, procrastinate for 15 secs to look at your salary (in-hand, not CTC) and the mirror.

2. Escape the delusion of Middle Class: Let’s be frank, there is no such thing as a “Middle Class”. It’s an illusion where rich people hide their riches and poor people hide their poverty. Proudly tell your other “middle class” friends who like to pretend they are “upper middle class” that you are poor.  They will no longer compare you to themselves and you can happily switch from selling your kidney to buy a dress to picking up a holiday hamper on sale.

3. Speak to your parents: Indian parents will shame you for spending Rs 500 for extra leg space so you can save enough money to spend Rs 50 lakh on your wedding. Every conversation with your parents will save you enough money to pay for the therapy sessions you will need afterwards. They will also shame you for spending money on a therapist, so tell them you’re going to your friend’s place to study even though you are 30 years old.

4. Stop all OTT subscriptions and go back to Television: Binge-watching has messed up our sense of time and proportion. A character arc we should have seen over 10 years is now being finished in 10 weeks. And fuelling our need to consume at the same pace. Hence, you have 13-year-olds with a mid-life crisis because they have finished all the seasons of 13 Reasons Why even before they have turned 14. On TV, on the other hand, characters grow up at the same time as you because the actors playing them are also ageing at the same pace. By the time the serial is finally over, your youthful enthusiasm for life is also over and you can peacefully start planning for retirement.

5. Next time, just spend the long weekend in office: While your colleagues are cursing each other for driving up the prices of everything from hotels and flight tickets as they all head to the same beach in Goa and the same resort in Lonavala, celebrate your financial savings by achieving independence from your colleagues. Let them pay the price of independence over a weekend that will feel longer than even the working week, especially on their credit card statement.

This is funnycontrol wishing you a Happy Independence Day. Please like, share and follow even if you don’t follow any of the instructions to save more.