A new trend has emerged on social media that blurs the lines between genuine emotional expression and calculated attention-seeking. Known as "sadfishing," this behaviour involves sharing exaggerated emotional posts to elicit sympathy and attention from followers. While it might seem harmless or even irritating to some, sadfishing raises significant questions about how we navigate mental health and validation in the digital age.
The term "sadfishing" was first introduced by journalist Rebecca Reid in 2019 after Kendall Jenner's public discussion of her acne struggles was revealed as a promotional stunt for Proactiv. Initially intended to critique celebrities leveraging personal struggles for publicity, Reid's concept has since evolved and broadened in scope.
Reflecting on her creation, Reid tweeted, "Lots of us sadfish sometimes, and that’s okay. Attention seeking is a perfectly legitimate thing. There’s nothing wrong with wanting attention.”
She also said she feels guilty for "making up" the term. "Um, I made up the term sadfishing and now I feel really guilty. It was certainly never intended to be used to stop being sharing their feelings online, only to comment on celebrities deliberately withholding information for their own gain," she had tweeted.
Behavioural specialists delved deeper into the phenomenon, identifying sadfishing as a behaviour where individuals amplify their emotional states on social media to attract sympathy. Cara Petrofes and her team explored this trend in a 2021 study published in the Journal of American College Health, noting its prevalence as a maladaptive coping mechanism, particularly among college students.
“Our research showed that those who are anxiously attached tend to seek validation through others and need consistent friend activity and a higher number of online/in-person friendships,” Petrofes explained to the Huffington Post. She suggested that individuals with anxious attachment styles—characterized by a fear of abandonment and a need for constant reassurance—are more likely to engage in sadfishing.
The evolution of this behaviour is reflective of broader changes in how we seek and offer support. Psychotherapist Tess Brigham contextualises this shift within the changing landscape of social interactions.
“It used to be that someone would ‘sadfish’ at the church picnic or a happy hour by telling everyone about their horrible day, and everyone would gather around,” Brigham told the Huffington Post. “But that’s not our world anymore, so this is how people get attention.”
While the desire for attention is a natural human trait, the digital manifestation of this need can have complex implications. The distinction between sadfishing and genuine vulnerability is critical. A targeted, cryptic quote about heartbreak might be dismissed as sadfishing, whereas a candid post about struggling with mental health might be a real call for help.
However, the increasing skepticism toward online expressions of distress can discourage people from sharing their genuine struggles, potentially leaving them without the support they need.
The consequences of being labelled a "sadfisher" can be severe. According to the Head’s Conference, those accused of sadfishing may experience lowered self-esteem, heightened anxiety, and feelings of shame. They might be dismissed by friends and family, reducing their chances of receiving meaningful support.
Understanding sadfishing requires a nuanced approach that acknowledges the genuine need for validation and support in our online interactions. While it is easy to dismiss exaggerated posts as mere attention-seeking, it is essential to recognise the underlying emotional needs driving this behaviour.
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