From to Darlings and Mirzapur, Vijay Varma has consistently dazzled audiences with the unvarnished honesty he infuses into his characters. However, the actor has been carrying a very personal tale of suffering, recovery, and self-discovery behind the camera.
In a recent heart-to-heart conversation on Rhea Chakraborty’s podcast, Vijay opened up about his struggles with depression, years of family conflict, and how Aamir Khan’s daughter, Ira Khan, helped him through one of the darkest periods of his life.
The actor revealed that his emotional turmoil began much earlier than most people realise — rooted in a complicated relationship with his father. “He was flamboyant, short-tempered, unpredictable,” Vijay said, recalling how admiration slowly turned into distance.
“He loved me, but he wanted so many things from me that I didn’t want – my career, my friends, even how I spent my time. Everything about me seemed to bother him.”
His mother became his emotional anchor during those years, though home still felt like a battleground. “My father wanted me to join the family business, but his temper made it unbearable,” he said. Theatre became his safe haven. When he got into FTII, he saw it as his only way out.
“I told him I got a scholarship and it was a one-year course. He said something nasty and warned, ‘You better leave before I return.’ So I packed my bags and left. I didn’t want havoc,” he shared softly.
The road ahead wasn’t easy. “I worked odd jobs. Nothing worked until Gully Boy came out of nowhere and changed my life,” he said.
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But fame didn’t quiet the storm within. When the 2020 lockdown hit, the stillness became overwhelming. “I was all alone in my Mumbai apartment. I had a small terrace – that sky saved me,” he recalled.
That’s when Ira Khan stepped in, noticing his struggles and inviting him to her online workout sessions. “I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety,” Vijay revealed, adding, “My therapist even suggested medication. I told her, ‘Let me try managing for now.’”
Through therapy and yoga, he began to confront years of buried pain. “During Surya Namaskar, I would collapse and cry for hours without knowing why,” he said.
Reflecting on his journey, Vijay added, “It shows up in your love life… When you’ve seen close relationships fail you as a child, love starts to feel like fear.”
Vijay Varma will next be seen in Gustaakh Ishq, releasing on 21 November 2025.
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