If you scroll through social media, you might have seen a curious scene: a bride, dressed beautifully for her wedding, stands calmly while guests shower her with notes of money. Amid the apparent celebration, her face remains serious, without a smile. Many who see this wonder—is she sad? Nervous? Displeased?
The truth, however, is far more meaningful. This moment is not about sadness, but about a deep-seated tradition of respect, one that comes from the Ijaw community of Nigeria.
The Ijaw people, also known as Izon, are among Nigeria’s oldest communities, primarily living in the Niger Delta region. They hold their customs close, viewing marriage not just as a union of two individuals, but as a sacred bond that involves the entire community. Their traditions are filled with symbolism, each gesture carrying weight.
In certain Ijaw clans, a bride traditionally does not smile during parts of the ceremony until she is satisfied with the amount of money her husband and his people have sprayed on her. Her smile is reserved—a precious sign of approval she gives only when she feels truly honoured by the groom and his family. The public “spraying” of money is not a mere show of wealth; it is a symbolic act. Each note represents a promise, a public declaration from the groom and his kin that they are ready and able to care for her, to provide happiness and security in their new life together.
Her eventual smile, therefore, is powerful. It is her conscious consent, her public acknowledgment that she accepts these promises and enters the marriage with confidence. It turns a simple gesture into a meaningful ritual of mutual respect.
To understand this fully, one must understand the Ijaw worldview, where women are held in the highest esteem. Their creation stories speak of Woyengi, a divine mother figure who breathed life into humanity. Because life itself is linked to the feminine, women in Ijaw society are seen as life-givers and pillars, deserving of deep honour.
The wedding ritual reflects this. The bride’s calm demeanour and the groom’s public gestures are a dance of respect, showing that her entry into the family is valued and that her happiness is a collective responsibility.
The next time you see that ‘unsmiling bride,’ see not a frown, but a quiet strength. See a woman in the midst of a tradition that places her consent and honour at the very centre of her wedding day. It’s a poignant reminder that across the world, cultures have their own unique ways of celebrating the same universal emotions: love, respect and the hopeful beginning of a new journey.
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