Not everyone can be your best friend at work: How to identify one

However, it’s not easy to make friends at work. HR experts say not all colleagues can be potential best friends. So, how do you identify one?

Importance of trust

In the professional world, there are fewer chances of developing deep and lasting connections, but HR leaders said having close and trusting relationships at work helps in creating better workplace experiences and communication.

“Having a co-worker who is trustworthy and is a team player can help in contributing to a positive and productive workplace,” said Deepak Malik, director of HR at IT company Aeris Communications.

Malik said such people enjoy sharing ideas, collaborating on projects, assisting co-workers to overcome challenges and working hard to achieve team goals.

“They are an important part of a team and when any problem occurs, they always remain calm and stay focused on finding solutions,” he said.

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Karan Jain, founder of HR tech company HROne, said trustworthiness can be gauged through what may seem like trivial aspects at work: how your colleague treats subordinates, how they make choices when they are not being observed, and whether they act in accordance with their words – all these can be assessed without getting too personal with your colleague.

Optimism a must

For Daya Prakash, founder of HR firm TalentOnLease, optimism is one of the most crucial qualities of work friendships.

“Nobody appreciates a complainer,” Prakash said.

He said it’s understandable to get worked up about your job, but it’s never okay to let that anger or frustration out on your co-workers.

“Therefore, it’s crucial to develop healthy methods of anger management,” he said.

Here, a friend with a positive outlook can help. But Prakash added that there’s no need to fake a smile and pretend that everything is fine.

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“Instead, it means looking for solutions and maintaining optimism that circumstances will turn around, even in trying times,” he said.

The presence of an onboarding buddy at the workplace makes a difference in the productivity of new recruits, a study by Microsoft showed.

Microsoft found that when its new hires met their onboarding buddy more than eight times in their first 90 days on the job, 97 percent said that their buddy helped them become productive quickly. That number was only 56 percent when new hires met with their onboarding buddy only once during the first 90 days, Microsoft analysts wrote in an article in the Harvard Business Review in June 2019.

Common value system

Industry leaders said people get along well with those who they see as their shadows or role models.

It means that you recognise having a common value system at an individual level or you look up to the other person for their attributes that make them the individual they are, said Anand Dewan, Group CEO at HR firm BYLD Group.

In his experience, friendships with such roots go a long way and beyond organisations. It’s mainly because you tend to get along well with an individual who has the same ethics and value system, Dewan said.

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A good team player would always get along with people with similar approaches, he explained. That is because they have a common goal and are looking at bigger gains.

You tend to confide and share your struggles easily with friends at work, which in turn helps you to navigate through tough times and situations, and this is essentially a reciprocal process. Here, Dewan strongly advises against making friends for vested interests and personal objectives.

“While you succeed once or twice, soon the liability of an opportunist will become a burden for life-making situations and room at the top lonelier,” he said.

Watch out for intent

‘Integrity and intent’ are aspects to consider before making a colleague your best friend. According to Hersh Shah, CEO of Institute of Risk Management - India Affiliate, this is important to avoid the risk of being cheated or taken for granted.

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Shah said if you are a high performer and a colleague has just joined, you will definitely be on their bucket list of finding a best friend at work.

“However, in this case, their intention of being your best friend is only linked to your success,” he said.

Hence, assessing honesty with purpose is critical to manage such workplace-related risks.