Relationship tips: Signs you both have fallen out of love in your marriage

Lack of physical intimacy

Physical intimacy is a significant aspect of a romantic relationship. When the frequency and quality of physical interactions, such as holding hands, hugging, or sexual activity, decrease significantly, it could be a sign that the emotional connection is waning. A lack of desire to be physically close can reflect deeper emotional issues.

Emotional distance

Emotional intimacy is just as important as physical closeness. If you or your partner feel disconnected, it might manifest as indifference, lack of empathy, or a general sense of apathy towards each other's feelings and experiences. This emotional distance often leads to feeling like you're living separate lives under the same roof.

Increased arguments

While disagreements are normal in any marriage, a significant increase in the frequency and intensity of arguments can signal deeper issues. Constant bickering, criticism, or conflict over trivial matters often reflects underlying dissatisfaction and resentment. These unresolved conflicts can erode the foundation of love and respect.

Absence of effort

In a loving relationship, both partners typically make efforts to nurture their bond. When one or both partners stop trying—whether it's in terms of spending quality time together, making small gestures of love, or supporting each other's goals—it can indicate that the motivation to maintain the relationship has diminished.

Fantasising about life without each other

Daydreaming about life without your spouse or imagining being with someone else can be a red flag. While occasional thoughts might be harmless, persistent fantasies about separation or being with another person suggest dissatisfaction with your current relationship. It reflects a longing for something that is missing in the marriage.

Feeling relieved when apart

It's natural to enjoy some time alone, but if you consistently feel relieved or happier when your partner is not around, it might indicate that being together has become a source of stress rather than joy. This relief can signal a deeper issue of emotional exhaustion or dissatisfaction.

Decreased appreciation and gratitude

In a healthy marriage, partners show appreciation and gratitude for each other's efforts and qualities. If these expressions of thankfulness and admiration have dwindled, it may suggest that you are taking each other for granted or that positive feelings have faded. This lack of appreciation can create a sense of neglect and undervaluation.

Different future goals

Having different aspirations for the future can put a significant strain on a marriage. If you and your spouse no longer see eye-to-eye on major life decisions, such as career moves, living arrangements, or having children, it can indicate a divergence in life paths. When partners no longer share common goals, maintaining a loving and cohesive relationship becomes challenging.

Seeking emotional support elsewhere

Turning to friends, family, or even strangers for emotional support instead of your spouse can be a sign that you no longer feel emotionally safe or understood within the marriage. This shift often occurs when the marital relationship no longer provides the comfort and security needed to handle life's challenges.

What to do next

Recognising these signs is the first step towards addressing the issues in your marriage. If both partners are willing, seeking the help of a marriage counsellor can provide a safe space to discuss problems and find ways to reconnect. Open and honest communication is crucial in understanding each other's needs and working towards a solution. However, if the relationship is beyond repair, it may be healthier to consider parting ways for good.