Gender roles and relationship dynamics have changed over the years, and marriages are no longer viewed the same way. Content creator and psychologist Divija Bhasin recently took to her Instagram account to share how she has chosen not to follow norms that dictate women should change their surnames, wear sindoor, and wear mangalsutra, among other things.
Divija shared in the viral video, “I always tick Ms Divija instead of Mrs Divija, when I fill forms. I did not take my husband‘s surname. I also do not wear sindoor or mangalsutra. My husband does not wear any of these things. So why should I? We both instead wear bracelets.”
The content creator also added that she hasn’t changed for marriage and continues to dress the way she always did. She is also financially independent, which helps her and her husband pay their rent and hire a cook.
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“We both got a house on rent after we got married. Even though we both love our parents, they do not live with us. We have a cook because we both earn and we can afford it. If not, we both would have learnt how to cook and cook together,” she said.
For her, it was important to marry a man who believes in the same things she does. The only thing that has changed for her is the freedom to have sleepovers with her boyfriend every night.
Divija also shared her thoughts on how marriage should not be approached in the old-fashioned way dictated by society.
“Why am I telling you all this? Because marriage does not have to be this horrible, negative experience where the woman has to change everything, while the man just gets to live with his family, have a career and do whatever he wants. Marriage can be equal. Our society is what makes it not equal. Society is not made up of other people. It includes me, and if I want to change the rules, I will. So, do not settle for something if it does not align with your own beliefs,” she concluded.
While many supported her in the comments, there were others who questioned her choices. One user wrote, “Sindoor and mangalsutra are not signs of oppression. They are divine, it’s our culture. Empowerment of women doesn't mean that they should forget their roots and culture.”
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Another wrote, “Do whatever you want, what’s the purpose of influencing your views on others. If you are against traditions and cultures, what’s the purpose of calling it as marriage ? You should have started staying with the same purpose, with naming it as marriage. Just because something you don’t like, doesn’t mean it’s misogyny.”
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