Parenting in modern times is an unspoken pressure to be everything all at once: a good listener, a kind disciplinarian, a planner, a protector, and still hold onto your own identity. Showing empathy to yourself is the best way to deal with challenges that come with parenting.
You’re not alone if you’ve found yourself short-tempered or emotionally distant after a long day. It doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a human. And that’s where empathy comes in—not just for your child, but for yourself. “Many parents feel they must always be cheerful, patient and available,” Sweta Bothra, Director of Psychology Services and Lead Psychologist, Amaha, told Moneycontrol. “But we are human before we are parents.”
Empathy starts with yourself
It is crucial to offer yourself the same kindness you’d offer your child when they’re overwhelmed. “When you respond to your own stress with kindness, you recover more easily,” Bothra told Moneycontrol. “And you teach your child that emotions are natural and manageable.” By embracing your own emotions instead of ignoring or powering through them, you model resilience and emotional safety, lessons that no book or rule can teach a child better.
Mental load of modern parenting
Parenting in the digital age comes with a never-ending tasks; school projects, food shopping, screen-time rules, WhatsApp school groups, career deadlines, and invisible expectations. You carry this load often without pause. Over time, it takes away at energy and wellbeing. Bothra told Moneycontrol, “This constant mental juggling often builds up without you even realising it, until you’re burnt out, impatient or feeling disconnected.”
Notice your own warning signs
We’re often better at spotting our child’s meltdowns than recognising our own. If you’re feeling irritable, exhausted but sleepless, losing interest in things you usually love—or feeling emotionally numb—these are signals, not flaws. “They’re reminders that your mind needs care too,” Bothra told Moneycontrol. “Rest, support or a simple change in pace can make all the difference.”
Tips to care for yourself
Start small. Speak to yourself like you’d speak to your closest friend. Ask for help without guilt; from your partner, family, or friends. Sharing the load is not a weakness, it's a smart move. And when guilt creeps in, often in those tiny, quiet moments, remind yourself that your wellbeing fuels your family’s wellbeing. Taking care of yourself is taking care of them.
Simple ways to pamper yourself
Taking care of yourself can be as simple as enjoying a cup of tea in peace, taking up a hobby, or meeting old friends. These help to reset your mind. And if the weight becomes too much, seek help. Therapy, support groups or even a heart-to-heart with someone who sees you beyond the role of ‘parent’ can go a long way. “Sometimes,” Bothra says gently, “the kindest thing you can do for your family is to seek help for yourself.”
Here’s what your child remembers most:
In the end, your child won’t remember how spotless the kitchen was or if dinner was five minutes late. But they will remember how it felt to be seen, heard, and understood. And when you offer yourself that same understanding, you’re not only surviving parenthood—you’re shaping a safe, emotionally connected home where everyone, including you, can thrive.
Also read: Child psychologist shares 8 best fun things that can help calm an ADHD and ASD child
FAQs about Modern Parenting and Self-Empathy
1. Why is self-empathy important in parenting?
Self-empathy helps parents recover more easily from stress and teaches children that emotions are natural and manageable.
2. How can I recognise my own warning signs of burnout?
Look for signs like irritability, exhaustion but sleeplessness, loss of interest in activities you usually love, or feeling emotionally numb.
3. What are simple ways to pamper myself?
Simple ways include enjoying a peaceful cup of tea, taking up a hobby, or meeting old friends.
Disclaimer: This article, including health and fitness advice, only provides generic information. Don’t treat it as a substitute for qualified medical opinion. Always consult a specialist for a specific health diagnosis.
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