TV actress Dalljiet Kaur, who is going through a very difficult separation from her investment banker husband, Nikhil Patel, spoke about how she and her son are a 'complete mess' right now.
In an exclusive interview with Money Control, Dalljiet opened her heart out about her second marriage and how her estranged husband doesn't even acknowledge the fact that they got married. She tells us he called it 'cultural exchange.'
In a bare-it-all chat with us, Dalljiet, who had relocated to Kenya with her 10-year-old son Jaydon, also lamented the fact that her first husband and actor, Shalin Bhanot, has also 'written them off.'.
Dalljiet said Shalin is not in touch with them or their son Jaydon. "I think now everybody knows that he's not in touch with me. There's a word called write-off, you know, that you do in your taxes and everything. You just write off. I think we've been written off."
During the interview, Dalljiet further said that she fails to understand why Shalin has not spoken with Jaydon after their return from Kenya. She revealed that he just disappeared from their lives after nine years.
Dalljiet said that the only mistake she has made is that she 'trusted two wrong men' in her life. The actress, who was recently seen in a web show 'Chitta Ve' on Attrangii, returned to India after her husband's alleged affairs. Produced By Seventh Sense Productions , Chitta Ve promises to leave viewers on the edge of their seats.
Dalljiet married Nikhil Patel, an investment banker in Kenya, in March 2023. And the actress shared all the images and videos from her wedding to the bidaai with her fans on social media. The actress says, No, her husband doesn't accept it.
It was in January this year that Dalljiet moved back from Kenya to India and started work. The actress says initially she decided to keep quiet, but it was when her husband started posting pictures with his 'teenage girlfriend' that she decided to speak up.
The actress, who has a tall body of work in the television industry, said she has been suffering panic attacks, and her mental health has suffered a lot. Dalljiet also told us that she has gained a lot of weight due to the stressful times that she is going through.
We asked her what her next step will be now that everything is out in the open and that Nikhil is not ready to accept it as 'marriage.' A very firm Dalljiet says she needs a proper closure and that she went to Kenya as his wife and not as a 'mistress or keep.'.
The actress has now started her travel vlog, My Soul in My Suitcase, and she has travelled to Goa and Kerala for the same.
When asked if she is ready to make a comeback on TV, the actress acknowledges that television is good money, but she cannot return to it as her son Jaydon is her priority right now.
Excerpts from the exclusive interview:
Ques: How is Dalljiet 3.0, and how is she doing?
Dalljiet: Oh, well, I think Dalljiet 3.0 is more confident. She doesn't trust anybody anymore. Yeah. Good. She has burned herself again and again and again, so now I think I've become very cautious. Let's just put it like that safely.
Ques: After going through a rough patch that you have hit with your second marriage, were you skeptical that people would actually question you when you're back in India? How are you dealing with it?
Dalljiet: Firstly, I don't know if he's my husband or not. That's the burning question of my life, whether we were married or not, apparently. So it starts from there, and it ends there. Rightly so, I was not the one coming out in public and speaking about it. The moment he put his girlfriend out in the open and started showing her off, then I spoke up. He didn't even realize that the kids are involved, the fact that there's a whole marriage, there was family. Like, you don't do like, it was very below the belt. And I think that is the day I said, you know what? Yeah. Fine. Sure. You want to talk about it? Let's talk about it. I think it just went to that level for me. And then, I didn't stop. Then I spoke about everything. Like, I continue to do so. And I think that's one thing that I've realized.
'Of course, I was worried that people would talk about it. And when I came here, also, I was very hopeful that he'd (Nikhil) probably come and fix things. And, yes, it's a lot of things that he did there with me, with my son, the sooner. But, when I came here also, in my head, I was like, it's marriage after all; he will come and fix it. You know, he will get some time. He will redeem himself. So hope was there. And then, of course, he crushed it by the way he kind of went rogue with the way he conducted himself as a person, as a father, as a husband. I don't even know. And it became very shameful by the end of it. Then I don't have a reason to keep quiet. Like, because bada aasan hota hai bolna ladki ko, ismein he galti hogi, you know, to see my shadow too.
Tried to save my first and second marriages
No. I tried my best in my first wedding. It wasn't my fault, and this is not my fault either. Yes. I trusted 2 very wrong people. Yes. I did go ahead and think that after 9 years, after we, you know, I waited for quite a lot of time to think that making the right choice, you know. So, yes, I went wrong again. I'm going to take that ownership of, yes, making a mistake. Definitely a mistake. But, but it's, again, a mistake in a way that I trusted him, not in a mistake that I tried again. It's not a mistake to try them. Yes. Till the time I'm alive to them, I'm breathing. I should be able to try to venture out in my life to seek happiness, whether it is working, whether it's marrying, or whether it's, you know, social service. It could be anything, but I should be able to do whatever it takes to make me happy, and I'm not going to apologize for that.
So, yeah, it's been quite harassing and quite a physically challenging time. And I'm not saying it was easy, and it's still not. And it just breaks my heart that something like this has to happen, something so ridiculous. Like, you either don't get married. Just continue with your life. But if you want to do all of those saath pheras and this and that and jing jang and baarat, like, and then pluck the whole person out and then, you know, destroy the whole life and then disrupt that person's life, change the course of the person's life. And then say, I want to go back to my old life of doing whatever I was doing. So just get out. Like, it doesn't work like that. And I'm not a thing that you just pluck out and then plug back in. I'm a human being. I am hurting, and I'm going to speak about it. I'm not a doll that you just pick up and throw whatever you want. I'm still full of anger."
How are you coping with life after this? And how has it been with your son Jaydon?
Dalljiet: How do you tell a 9-year-old that your so-called dad, within 2 months, is literally messaging me that I'm in a relationship? Buzz off! Nikhil messaged me, I think in the month of May, that I am with this girl. He actually messaged me saying, I am in a relationship. And I was like, in May, you're saying you're in a relationship. I came back at the end of January; till February we were in touch. In March we were also in touch. So, my calculation is that in April you just found someone in May. Had this happened if after one year of our marriage I could have said that there were compatibility issues or that things weren't working? We would have tried to make this work. It's marriage after all. I would have had that much time for my son to understand what's going on that, you know what? It's not working out. Or you know what, son? This is not happening.
Watch the interview here:
The way he went rogue with his crazy behavior, I had no time, no explanation. Honestly, till now, I am in utter shock. There is no explanation for what he did and how he carried himself and continues to carry himself. So it's just very difficult for a child of that age to know. He's in a very fragile state, almost a teen, not a teen, you know, and given my history behind, I've been very protective of him, not really exposing him to how the world could be. I don't have an answer for my son Jaydon. I just think I've made sure that Jaydon is protected right now without telling details. I think he's very well protected from what's going on, and he's very nicely isolated in the right way possible. He's doing better. And I think that that's the only thing I could do as a mother. We came up with the best plans to keep him away from this. But does he have an answer? No. Not even to me.
Are you returning permanently to acting only? What is your future plan?
Dalljiet: Travel has been the best thing in my life. This is something I would tell all the women/men going through any kind of trouble: the way nature heals you, nothing else does. Every time I've travelled, whether it was Goa or Kerala, the show has made me breathe better. I'm probably looking a little better, though I've become quite heavy because of whatever it is that I've done to myself in the last 4 months. And I own it. Like, I don't even try, and, like, it's the fact. And I probably one day will look back at myself in a much healthier way. But right now, I'm quite a mess. But still nature has healed me so beautifully. I'm never undoing this. This is going to be my part, not just for healing, but for even realizing this is reality. You know? Hmm. Nobody's here to stay forever. This journey or whatever. Like, it's just there for whatever time it is. Right? So, yeah, I will show my soul in my suitcase is the name of my channel. It's been Yes. It's been, I think, a blessing in every given way. I'm never undoing that. Acting, of course, if I get something great, I will do it, but I'm never going to undo traveling ever.
Are you going to return to TV this year, or will you do more on OTT?
Dalljiet: I don't have a choice of TV if you ask me because the amount of hours required is not the hours I can give television anymore because my son needs that type from me. And for me, the priority is stabilizing my child. He's traumatized with what happened. He deserves, if nothing else, me right now. And television, unfortunately, takes a lot of your time, and it doesn't give you the privilege of spending a weekend with your kid, or, you know, you can't really apply for a holiday per se. You know, to really like, you have to be there. And it's right. Television is not what I can afford right now. Unfortunately, though, television is my instant way to finance. The amount of money that I know with my seniority I will get right now, it can take care of everything in 1 month's salary. But, unfortunately, I can't opt for it. So I'm opting for a travel show where I'm actually investing in a way. I am opting for web shows once in a while here and there, which will give me one-off money. So it is, not a great choice maybe in the situation that I'm in. Television can be an idea. Take care of me, but my son is my priority, and I'm not Yeah. Television as of now.
Are you in touch with your ex-husband, Shalin Bhanot? Does he have anything to say about Jaydon?
Dalljiet: I think now everybody knows that he's not in touch with me. There's a word called write-off, you know, that you do in your taxes and everything. You just write off. I think we've been written off. It's more like, what if she needs something? What if my son needs me? What if there's financial support required? Or maybe there's an emotion. So he must be thinking, 'I'm not getting into this mess.' Like, we are a mess for it. We are like a duo who's probably not in a good phase of our life, and he would rather pose and do whatever that is that he's doing. I don't know what he's doing. But, again, I think I've gone beyond shock. It just makes me believe that there are people like that, and they're breathing just fine. And it's again, it's their journey to take. And like I said, there was a time when I was not speaking about it. And then I said, Who am I protecting? And why the hell am I protecting? Why should I? And a lot of people said, if he's using his name for publicity, no. I am famous enough. You're not taking my interview right now because I'm so-and-so's ex or so-and-so's whatever.
How are you handling everything right now? Your mental health and work-life?
Dalljiet: Honestly, I don't think I'm doing a great job so far. My eyesight has suffered quite a lot. Stress comes in a lot of ways. There was a time when I was only eating, eating, eating, and feeling a little better temporarily, but obviously, it was screwing my body and whatever. I'm an actor, so I'm supposed to look okay. So that was not going well with me emotionally. And then, I realized I was having a lot of panic attacks. I was getting a lot; I was feeling depressed. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't lie down. I was, you know, like, in the middle of the night, I would get up, and I would realize that I'm crying, and I'm like, what the hell? Like, I'm not even thinking about it, or, like, not that I'm in a conversation with somebody, but I would just start crying. I would start breathing. I realized people on social media write that she wants sympathy. Oh my, no. I want to speak because I'm hurting. And you know what? I will. When you're hurting, you'll probably pick up your friend or your best friend or this one or that one. You speak about it. When you're hurting, you're speaking about it, and I'm going to do the same just because obviously my peripheral increases because of being whoever that I am. And of course, there are many more views or whatever. It doesn't need to make me stop.
And probably the day I started speaking, I'm actually feeling better. But I feel so much better speaking about it because keeping quiet didn't do good to me. It didn't do good for me because I was just sulking, and I was crying, and I was getting more into depression. And I was like, what am I doing if I'm not able to get hold of myself? How am I going to take care of my son? And guess what? I have a child that I need to take care of, and I don't care what somebody tells me is their way to deal with it. My way is I'm going to take it, take the bull by the horn, and I'll stare into the eyes of the bull until the bull actually just backs off and doesn't bully me anymore. Like, I'm going to do that.
Ques: You said in the first part of our interview that Nikhil doesn't consider it as marriage. So, how do you actually go forward and annul it or end it? Or does it, you know, keep lingering on?
Dalljiet: Of course, I want closure with respect. I would have wanted the marriage to stay for him to come and apologize for what he did and should have apologized. His family should have intervened because I did reach out to his father once and said, This is what is happening, and I'm not okay with it, and please intervene. I was pleading. I was asking for help, and not that they did anything about it, or maybe they were always aware of him, and it just makes me even more probably angry.
I want justice. I'm fighting for it. I'm legally fighting for it. There's a case going on in Kenya. There's an FIR filed here. Whatever it is in my capacity now, I don't know what it looks like, whether it's called a null man, whether it's gone to divorce, what is it called? I don't know. I got married to that man on 18th March. I got married to him. I left after the proper bidaai as a wife. I was not his mistress. I was not his keep. I went as the mother of his daughter, whether he likes to put it in whatever way. So I went as a mother of that child. I went as biological or not. I took her in as my own kid. My son called him a father. I went as Mrs. Patel on my Aadhaar card. I accepted wholeheartedly, not because he was this or he was that, but I went there and yeah. And the way it's been, the whole thing has come out of disrespect and so low and so shady, and so, like, it's been so shabby the whole thing that I'm looking for justice. I'm going to fight till the very end. And let's see what happens. In the end, I feel if he's able to prove married to me, shame on him. Yeah. Actually. If he wins, it's a bigger shame. If he loses, he better get punished. And if nothing is happening, make what? Like, that's what I've come down to in my life right now.
Dalljiet has worked in many TV shows, including Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon? and Kaala Teeka.
She was also seen in Nach Baliye and also emerged as its winner with her first husband, Shalin Bhanot. In 2019, she participated in the reality show Bigg Boss 13.
Dalljiet was seen in Chitta Ve, which released on the OTT platform Attrangii.
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