In her keynote address at the recent Forbes 30 Under 30 soiree in Delhi, Karnataka’s first transgender doctor Trinetra Haldar Gummaraju, 24, noted how unlike a six-year-old child she met at the paediatrics department recently she could never say that she “wanted to be a princess”. “As a firstborn son, I couldn’t,” but now as a grown-up, successful woman, she feels it’s important to “never lose the childlike wonder of a six-year-old and this delusional and irrational belief that anything is possible.”
At 21, Dr Haldar Gummaraju underwent gender-affirmation surgery a year before the pandemic and documented her journey on social media. And, this year, for “empowering others to own their story”, Forbes magazine included her in the class of 30 Under 30 in the digital content creator category. In this interview, Dr Haldar Gummaraju shares how this journey so far has been for her. Edited excerpts:
How does it feel to be part of this year’s 30 Under 30 list?
I think it’s absolutely incredible, because growing up, I wasn’t allowed to believe that someone like me, someone who’s queer and trans could be so many things — a doctor, an actor, and a content creator, so, to have a platform as large as Forbes (giving this recognition) means the world to me.
As you underwent gender-affirmation surgery in the middle of the pandemic, how anxious were you during that period?
The pandemic was a really tough time. None of us had been through anything like this. But it was also my final year in the MBBS, and I had transitioned right before that, so it was peak anxiety. But that’s exactly when social media really helped (me) to an extent because (on social media) you meet people, and you make families that you’d never make in real life. I made so many new friends and we not only created content together, but we also became people who were there for each other.
You also documented that journey on social media, but putting your vulnerability out there, inviting both appreciation and trolls. What made you continue doing it every day?
(Posting on social media) provided me comfort and peace as I journaled my thoughts to process everything, and at the same time, I also know that I am not alone in feeling this way and that there are a lot of people going through the exact same thing. And no matter how tough it gets with the trolls and the hate messages, to know that there are so many children out there who can connect with this and (that it can) help them connect with their journeys is a big motivating factor.
And the hate messages, how do you deal with them?
More often than not, I ignore (them). Because I truly do not care. But at the same time, for a lot of people out there, it’s important not just to be supportive but also someone who stands up for queer people. I think people don’t know how to respond to (such messages), so I do take (several) comments and address (them) so that it gives language to people how to make sense of this hate, respond to it, and how to make the world a better place.
But doesn’t it take a toll on your mental health? How do you remain sane?
Therapy (laughs). It helps. Anyone who can access (and afford) it, must take their mental health seriously. (People must) reach out to professional help or (they can) be open about their struggles and reach out to the closest people they know who have some sense of understanding about mental health. Besides therapy, for me, my amazing family has been very supportive. Over time, (our relationship) has gotten better.
Alongside your full-time job as a doctor, how do you manage being an actor and a social-media influencer?
I won’t deny that on some days it feels way too overwhelming. But I think what has always worked for me emotionally, personally, and professionally is to just hold people closest to me very close no matter what changes in life. I am excited about my web-series (Season 2 of Made In Heaven) coming out in March, but people who are close to me keep me grounded all the time, and I think that’s healthy.
Very often, people define womanhood in a transphobic way. How do you respond to that?
(People) can define womanhood however they want. It is always a personal description, which is why there is no definition of womanhood. But anyone who wants to define it is free to do it, but I won’t associate (myself) with it.
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