Four More Shots Please's Kirti Kulhari: 'I'm at a point where I need to grow, break out of mediocrity'

She has evolved a lot and, thank god, she is evolving! Sometimes, we joke on the set about what are these girls doing? Why aren't they growing up and why are they making the same mistakes again and again. The interesting part is that if the girls did stop making mistakes then no one would watch the show! We have found our space as flawed characters. Four More Shots Please! has been a very big part of my life for more than four years, during which a lot has happened. The show has pushed boundaries for me as an actor and a person. It has made me question a lot of conditioning and ideologies that are just available. Not just my character but the other girls, too. The show, as such, talks about issues which make you simply question yourself. I think Kirti has grown 10 times more than Anjana has grown in the last few years. But some aspects of Anjana’s life are more sorted now, for instance, she has found a good space with her daughter, she’s learnt from her affair but she’s taking some time finding closure with her ex-husband.

A still from the web-show Four More Shots Please!

Besides issues, and interpersonal relationships, Four More Shots Please! stands out for the styling and production values. Do you enjoy that aspirational element of the show?

Yes, I do, because it is not my life. I am the opposite, so, it is exciting for me to look put together — clothes, make-up and hair. When I am bored doing Anjana, this is what I look forward to. Having said that, apart from the fluff and the girls looking like divas, the locations and production values, which are all great to watch, I think there is something far deeper to the show. There is representation, a showcase of female bonding , friendship through the female gaze, female problems — a mix of all this connects with people. Siddhi (Maanvi Gagroo), Damini (Sayani Gupta), Umang (Bani J) and Anjana's problems and conversations are universal. It is about women having agency, which is an empowering concept. The real aspiration is that women can be unapologetic about being themselves, face the consequences of their actions, fight back and face the storm.

Human, The List, Four More Shots Please! and your first production, the year 2022 is looking good. Are things on track?

It's not that much actually, but it's enough for me and, yes, things are more or less on track though I would have liked to do more films. films are easier to get into and get out of. A film is my favourite storytelling medium. A series takes a long time to finish, you get consumed by it for longer and doing two in a year really takes a lot out of you. I am on the track of doing more features now. I am at that point where quantity will be lesser for me, my focus will be on quality. Even a short film, like The List, should have a lot of meaning for me and for the audiences. My coming on screen should be meaningful. I am very clear about the space I am heading into, the kind of work-life balance I want. Any pressure I am putting on myself, I can handle.

Why did you decide to become a producer? Is there a specific intent behind the company?

It was never really a plan. I came up with this idea somewhere last year. It’s not an impulsive thing. It felt very right, supported by the idea of how my career has shaped up in the last few years, in terms of the reputation and credibility I have built. I was pushed into asking if I can do more and be a part of filmmaking in a bigger way. As an actor I can only do so much. I also understand filmmaking and cinema better than a lot of people around. Over the years one has seen things being done and seen the kind of things that come out and you think you can make a difference and add some value to something you feel so passionate about. So, the intent comes from a good space. In the process, I will also find scripts that interest me as an actor, and some directors might also be interested in me as an actor. But that is a by-product. The main aim is to make good films that I like and can connect with. Intention is important. It decides the journey and the outcome. The first film, Nayeka, should come out early next year. A few more films will take shape next year.

What else are you working on?

Besides that Nayeka and the company, I will be shooting another film this year but I have not signed on any other series. What I really want is to work internationally. I see so much foreign cinema which has some wonderful roles that really call out to me in terms of how I want to push myself as an actor. I want to be a part of beautiful films. I love the work of Emily Blunt, Emma Stone, Cate Blanchett, Natalie Portman and, of course, Meryl Streep. Their effort and intention shows and they make their roles their own. To be honest, I am at a point right now where I need to grow and I feel a saturation around me. I want to break out of it. Hence also the idea to produce content. I want to make stuff that I am also a part of sometimes as an actor or to collaborate with the kind of people I want to work with. I want to find my tribe and grow and not be complacent in this mediocrity that we sometimes celebrate. I am an outsider and I still feel like one, even though I know more people in the industry now than ever before. I stand at a point where I am not okay being mediocre. I don't have to please anybody or prove anything to anyone. I think that is what being fearless and empowered is about.