Reality television often portrays romantic relationships filled with grand gestures, intense emotions, and rapid declarations of love. However, beneath the glittering surface, these relationships can sometimes reveal unhealthy behaviours that may go unnoticed by viewers. A recent episode of "Love Island’s USA Reunion" brought the issue of "love bombing" into the spotlight when contestant Kaylor Martin accused fellow participant Aaron Evans of engaging in such manipulative tactics.
Love bombing is a manipulative practice where one partner overwhelms the other with excessive affection, compliments, and promises early in the relationship, often before truly getting to know them. According to Leanna Stockard, a licensed marriage and family therapist with LifeStance Health in Boston, "Manipulators use these tactics to create a façade of love and affection, encouraging the new partner to let their guard down and trust them, only to withdraw that affection later."
Stockard explained that love bombing makes the victim feel as though they must have done something wrong when the affection is suddenly withdrawn. This tactic is designed to create a sense of dependency, where the victim feels compelled to do anything to regain the love and attention they initially received.
Identifying the signs of love bombing early on is crucial. Stockard noted that endless compliments, excessive gifts, and a desire to spend all available time together very early in the relationship are red flags. "The love bomber makes a new partner feel incredibly special, but the intensity of these actions often goes beyond what is normal when just getting to know someone."
While love bombing can feel flattering at the start, Stockard warned that it is a calculated manipulation. Once the love bomber believes they have secured the partner's commitment, the initial affection typically fades, leaving the partner questioning their own actions. "This manipulation tactic is designed to keep the victim seeking approval, ensuring the manipulator maintains control," she said as per a report in New York Post.
Another common sign of love bombing is engaging in intense conversations about a future together early in the relationship. "Discussions about the future help build the false sense of security that the love bomber wants to create," Stockard explained. "They want their partner to believe in a shared future that may never materialise."
For those who find themselves in such a situation, Stockard advised recognising the signs and setting boundaries. "If you’re uncomfortable with the level of attention you’re receiving after only a short time of dating, or if a friend expresses concern about the pace of the relationship, you may be experiencing the early stages of love bombing," she said.
Recognising the shift in a partner's behaviour — from intense affection to sudden withdrawal — is key to understanding that love bombing may be at play. Stockard urged individuals to address the issue with their partner if they suspect manipulation, noting that while love bombing might feel good initially, it is not a sustainable or healthy dynamic in a relationship.
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