The Supreme Court’s landmark decision in 2018 to decriminalise homosexuality between consenting adults significantly helped educate public opinion about the LGBTQIA+ community. But there is still a long way to go for us Indians. Granting legal sanction to same-sex marriage — is one of the hottest topics today. At the time of going to press, a Constitution Bench of the Supreme Court led by Chief Justice of India DY Chandrachud and comprising Justices Sanjay Kishan Kaul, S Ravindra Bhat, PS Narasimha and Hima Kohli, is hearing a batch of pleas seeking legal recognition of same-sex marriages in India. They are arguing that the right to marry a person of one’s choice should extend to LGBTQIA+ citizens as well.
Around 12 years ago, in London, Radhika Piramal, executive director and vice-chairperson, VIP Industries, married her partner because the UK law recognised LGBTQ IA+ couples. In an exclusive conversation with Moneycontrol, Piramal, now 45, talks about the trials she faced, about choosing to go public despite the judgements and criticisms, the situation today and more. Edited excerpts:
You came out when you were 15, at a time when people’s outlook was not as open as it is now. Tell us about that time.
I was born in Mumbai in 1978. I realised I was lesbian during my early teens in the 1990s. The first person I told this to was my older sister Aparna, followed by my parents, my cousin and a few close friends. They were understanding but all of them advised me to keep my personal life quiet. In my 20s, I studied at Harvard Business School and worked at the consulting firm Bain and Co. in New York. One of the most respected professors in Harvard Business School was an out lesbian professor. Bain & Co. had an established LGBTQ internal employee resource group led by senior partners who were all out. These visible role models gave me the confidence to come out at university and work. I met my partner Amanda in New York in 2007 and we moved to Mumbai in 2009 after a serious discussion with my parents, in which I explained that we could live in India only if they were comfortable with us living openly as a couple. Fortunately, they were supportive and inclusive.
Your civil marriage and family acceptance — was it all smooth? How did you deal with it?
We held our civil union a few years later in London in 2011 because the UK law specifically recognised LGBTQ couples. Getting formally united under the law in front of hundreds of people was a major public step. My family were a little nervous of media scrutiny and societal backlash...'log kya kahenge', but they ultimately wanted me to be happy, not lonely, and so they supported my civil union by attending it in full force. My ceremony was reported in the Indian tabloids, which is exactly what my parents were afraid of, and which overnight made my relationship very public. At first, I was also nervous about public opinion, but ultimately being out in the press enabled me to take charge of my narrative. I decided it was much better for me to write my own story than to let others write it for me.
Trolling on social media is also a huge problem for the LGBTQIA+ community. How do you deal with this?
I choose to be public even though I know online trolls will judge and criticise, especially on social media. I don’t worry about negative comments as I am secure in the important relationships in my life, such as my relationship with my wife, my parents, siblings, relatives, friends and colleagues. Within society, I can usually work out who genuinely supports me and who judges me. I am not interested in pursuing friendship with those who gossip behind my back or disrespect my values of equality, non-discrimination and inclusion.
Did you ever face any discrimination?
The most fundamental discrimination I face is that my marriage is not legally recognised in India. Marriage benefits a couple with many rights which heterosexual couples take for granted. These rights include the ability to open joint bank accounts, jointly buy or rent property, access a spouse’s health and life insurance, and to inherit a spouse’s assets if one partner dies. These are essential legal protections enjoyed by 'straight' married couples, but which are denied to LGBTQ couples. Allowing same-sex marriage equality takes nothing away from those straight couples who already enjoy these rights, yet it adds so much to the lives of those LGBT+ couples. Marriage is such an essential part of family life in India, that excluding LGBTQ couples from marriage excludes us from society itself.
Is it always easier when you are abroad?
Our Indian scriptures have many examples to show that homosexuality is not a Western import and that LGBTQ individuals are a natural and normal part of all societies. The criminalisation of homosexuality in India was done by the British. The Supreme Court’s landmark decision to decriminalise homosexual acts between consenting adults in 2018 significantly helped educate public opinion in India about the LGBTQ community. Since then, Diversity and Inclusion efforts increased momentum across leading Indian companies. Many corporations have re-written their Equal Opportunity and Anti-Discrimination policies to explicitly protect LGBTQ employees from bullying and harassment. These inclusive and fair policies have not led to negative consequences or backlash. In fact, it has been the opposite — inclusive policies which encourage a diverse workforce have resulted in more loyalty and engagement, as employees feel they can be their authentic selves at work and still fully belong to their organisation. It is now time for this sense of belonging to be felt at home too, which starts with belonging to the family and being allowed to marry.
Discover the latest Business News, Sensex, and Nifty updates. Obtain Personal Finance insights, tax queries, and expert opinions on Moneycontrol or download the Moneycontrol App to stay updated!
