Before the release of his 2009 film Dev D, actor Abhay Deol took a break from Bollywood at the peak of his career, relocating to New York. His decision to step away from the limelight came at a time when he was experiencing the weight of fame and its associated pressures. Abhay returned to India soon after the film's release.
In a candid conversation, the actor shared his struggles with fame and his personal reasons for taking a step back. He admitted that the constant scrutiny and expectations had begun to take a toll on his mental health, leaving him feeling disconnected from himself and his work. During his time away, he focused on rediscovering his passions, finding clarity, and learning to live life on his own terms.
White talking too Humans of Bombay, Abhay revealed that he moved to New York just before Dev D hit theatres, a time when he was finding it increasingly difficult to cope with the public attention.
Reflecting on his feelings, he explained, “I was finding it hard to deal with the attention and fame because I started getting flashbacks of when I was a kid. I was a sensitive child and I didn’t like the attention. I liked the art, creativity and medium. I knew that Dev D was going to be big, but I didn’t want to be famous. But at the same time, I wanted to act.”
He added, “There was a conflict within me. I focused a lot on the negatives. I hadn’t resolved many issues, so I just ran away because I was afraid of being famous and everything that came with it.”
His time in New York, however, wasn’t a peaceful retreat. Abhay confessed that he entered a “self-destructive” phase, acknowledging that while he indulged in a reckless lifestyle, he knew it wasn’t a permanent solution. “When I went there, I knew it wasn’t going to be forever because I was just indulging. I was very destructive,”
Abhay’s experience in New York led to a turning point where he recognised his actions were only delaying his return to reality. He further added, “Some actors take their work home. It’s a process to learn how not to be affected. I am not now. I don’t take my work home. You should just embrace the privilege of being an actor and stop taking yourself so seriously. But, that didn’t happen at the end of that year. If anything, I got more and more destructive as the year progressed.”
Abhay further explained, “I knew I wasn’t going to stay there. I was just in New York playing the part I played in Dev D, getting drunk, not working and being terrible with my money. It was a waste in that sense. I won’t call it a waste now because I learnt something, but it was destructive." His decision to return was ultimately motivated by the responsibilities he had towards his family and the need to rebuild his career. “I wanted to come back home and continue to earn and support myself and my family. There are responsibilities, you have to come back. This is a make-believe world. I knew it wasn’t going to be permanent, it was a temporary escape,”
Through this introspection, Abhay realised that while his time away may have been reckless, it was also a necessary phase of self-discovery, helping him understand the importance of balancing work and personal life while embracing the responsibilities that come with fame.
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