9 brilliant no-net getaways that will make you wish you did not have to get back to the concrete jungle

Speaking of the universe listening, you will find yourself gobsmacked in Binsar, unable to utter even a ‘Wow! I have never seen so many stars in my entire life!’ when the universe decides to put up a show. And no matter what time of the year you decide to venture out to that gorgeous part of Almora in Uttarakhand, the show is on. Unless it is raining of course, and then you settle down with a glass of the nectar of the gods and hear the rain falling on oak trees…

But the rest of the year, it’s different. You will be glad you invested in that gadget that helps you map the sky instead of depending on that app on your phone. The phones don’t work, and you’re grateful that the hotel staff - though amazingly swift in bringing stoves to your room, just smile when you ask them how far is the nearest internet connection…

Unless you are travelling in the African desert, or near Uluru in Australia you won’t witness such an unabashed show of magnificence in the sky. Of course, the Himalayas are special and the overwhelming joy of watching the stars in the company of snow-covered mountains is inexplicable. No designer dress, no ballroom lit with fairy lights can compete when nature decides to show off.

You’re in luck this year, the first new moon of 2023 falls on January 3, 2023. So the stars in the sky will be incredible.

(Photo by Amith Sreedhar via Unsplash)

Competing with the Oak forests of Binsar are the Spiti Valley villages. Geographically speaking, Spiti Valley is a cold desert. So radically different from the forests in Almora that you go down on your knees and give thanks to that niggling voice that told you to invest in a watch with GPS. You could feel disorientated in the mountains, thanks to all that beauty and yes, the snow. The meditative quality of a trek could make you forget to eat (the trail mix is such a boon that I feel bad for having laughed at people searching for sunflower seeds at Whole Foods). The fitness watch will remind you to eat so you don't get hypoglycemic as well as tell you if you have strayed away from your set course.

When you really want to get away from the swish set, or the overgrown teenagers at Manali, give yourself 12 days and travel to Barlacha La. At 16,000 ft, you need to spend a couple of days getting acclimated to the altitude. But when you do, you know the exhilaration is not you going barmy over the mountains. You can trek to Chandratal in the relative quiet. And if you tend to apologise to kitchen appliances or doors should you slam them, then you will most likely apologise to the sound displaced pebbles make under your shoes.

If setting up camp is not some Instagram story for you but a part of you, then the mountains will be kind to you. Flowers will sprout overnight near your tent on some unnamed plant sticking out from under the rocks (you inadvertently spilled some water the evening before) and you look at them with all the wonder Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park musters when he says, ‘Life will find a way.’ Of course, city folk like you and I will need to rely on the experts who know the mountains because they were born there.

Dhangkar, Spiti (Photo by Nomad Bikers via Unsplash)

If you’ve thought of giving up the (pointless) polite life and taking off to the wilderness, then you should consider the awesomeness of the North-East. One of the few places in the world that can make you forget to check messages on your phone. Why would you want to watch cat videos when you can stalk the big cats in real life?

Don’t tell me you’ve been to Corbett and Ranthambore and the super popular Bandhavgarh. I will ask you if you have seen the beautiful Manas National Park in Assam? The Indravati National Park? On the boat on the Indravati river, when we spotted the tiger staring back at us, I sounded as if I had inhaled helium when I asked the boatman: Do tigers swim in the river? And promptly forgot to take pictures when he nodded in the affirmative. Both Manas and Indravati are such brilliant no-net (intermittent cell service) getaways, they will make you wish you did not have to get back to the concrete jungle.

Nakkati Hill View Point, Bongaigaon, Assam. (Photo: Kushal Medhi via Unsplash)

Speaking of jungles, it is difficult not to be mesmerised by mountains in the South of India. Sure, the backwaters of Kerala are stacked with tourists but when you leave those spots, and head to the Elephant’s Head mountain or the Anamudi, you will never want to leave. Not just because you love the aloneness they promise, but because the air smells of cardamom and cinnamon.

Speaking of spices, when Vasco da Gama landed in India, he landed at Kappad beach in Kerala. It’s a stunning beach near Ernakulam city, so you’d be doing yourself a favour by discovering a hidden gem or two. With mainly fisherfolk for company (they leave with their boats for days), you will love the solitude of Kizhunna Ezhara and Kappil beaches. The post office has a phone that works, sometimes. Isn’t that just what you wanted?

Speaking of wants, would you not love walking on white sands with ruby red crabs for company? And you’re not lost. There’s the Bay of Bengal stretching out beautifully in front of you, and no one is offering to braid your hair or massage your feet or inviting you to their beach shack for food. You are alone on the Mandarmani beach. You have forgotten your phone in your room at the beach resort (there are so few people, they ask you what you feel like eating, and cook that for you!). If you need even more solitude, there’s Kuakata beach. Both these beaches are away from people who somehow prefer being with people than with themselves at Digha.

As I write this, I have just watched a Bollywood film that has been shot in Arunachal Pradesh. In Ziro, the aerial shots will make you salivate. And even though it is geographically difficult to reach, it is connected to the world by phone. Maybe this new year we could resolve to use less of the device than we did this year eh? And fall in love with nature and ourselves. When that is done, leave the city behind. Forever.