The pandemic has changed the rules of many relationships, including the parent-child relationship. Parents have to guide their kids through a tricky time that is testing mental and physical limits. And yet, they do not want to make children so reliant on them that they are not able to make their own place in the world.
In 2019, Maye Musk, the mother of Elon Musk and his two siblings, Kimbal and Tosca, all successful in their fields, shared her thoughts on parenting on CNBC Make It. At this challenging time, it makes for instructive reading.
“People often ask me how I raised such successful kids. I tell them I did it by teaching them about hard work and letting them follow their interests,” Maye Musk wrote.
Musk recommends putting kids to work at an early age. She became a single mother of three at 31, and had no option but to earn a living. And she was used to it at some level as she had started working for her father when she was 8.
“I never felt guilty about working full-time, because I didn’t have a choice. Taking care of my children was the top priority,” Musk wrote. “I started working for my dad when I was eight years old. We lived next door to his chiropractic, where my mom helped him, too. My twin sister Kaye and I were paid 5 cents an hour to help him mail out his monthly bulletin.”
The morale of this story was that Maye Musk was treated as a grown-up by her parents, and she did the same with her children.
“My parents treated us like adults who could be trusted, and their influence is evident in how I raised my children. From a young age, my kids helped me with my nutrition business,” Musk wrote. “Tosca would go into my office and type up letters to doctors on a word processor. Elon was very good at helping to explain the word processor functions to me. Kimbal was always helpful, too.”
History repeated when Tosca, like her mother, started helping out at the age of 8. “When we were living in Bloemfontein (South Africa), I put Tosca to work at the modeling and image school I was running,” Musk wrote. “Imagine an eight-year-old teaching students how to walk, choreographing runway shows and running etiquette classes. I even made her the dresser for all my shows.”
Growing up studying, working and without pampering made the Musk children motivated and resilient.
“If your children aren’t used to luxuries, they survive well,” Musk wrote. “You don’t need to spoil them. Once you’re sure your kids are in safe situations, let them look after themselves. I brought my children up like my parents brought us up when we were young: to be independent, kind, honest, considerate and polite. I didn’t treat them like babies or scold them. I never told them what to study. I didn’t check their homework; that was their responsibility.”
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