You are all alone in a city, you meet a stranger and life changes. You fall in love. Or you just fall in love with a stranger in the virtual world? Sounds like a Bollywood plot? Not really. It is all happening here and now.
According to the online dating app Bumble’s new trend ‘wander love’, 1 in 3 (33 percent) people on the platform say that they are now more open to travel and relationships with people who are not in their current city. According to Bumble, ‘always on the go’ has become characteristic of young Indians, as many venture beyond their hometowns for better opportunities, new experiences or just a fresh start. Hybrid work mode post-pandemic is allowing ‘digital nomads’ explore life in new cities and take up adventurous travel plans. The same goes for love.
Prateek Sibal (33), a shipping lawyer from Mumbai, agrees. He met his fiancée Chetna Kapoor (31), a kindergarten teacher from Ahmedabad at a friend’s wedding in Goa in November 2021. “I think it's easier to fall in love in a different city, especially if one is on holiday. Personally, my inhibitions are lower while I'm on a vacation, and I would be ready to take more chances as compared to when I'm in the comfort of the city I live in. And there is always something more romantic about falling in love on a holiday,” said Sibal. According to him, in the pre-Covid era, travelling was about following a fixed schedule. During and after Covid, I have seen people (especially the ones with remote working options) spend more time at a destination,” he said.
According to Ananya Sinha, founder and chief clinical psychologist of the online platform for mental health practitioners TherapHeal work brings individuals to different cities, away from the familiarity and comfort of their home and many feel overwhelmed by the humongous shift in their personal and social lives. “Being alone in a new city can be anxiety provoking, and evokes the need for companionship more strongly than ever. This coupled with the love and belongingness, as exemplified by Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of needs, motivates one to look for partners in the new city,” she said.
Shivangini Kashyap, 23, a graphic designer from Assam met her partner Ayan Khatua, 21, a student from Kolkata on Bumble. Now both live in New Delhi. According to her, ‘love found us’.
“I really didn’t believe in online dating until Ayan came into my life. We didn’t give up on each other even after the worst fights and here we are now living in the same city and growing together. I’ll always be grateful to Bumble for making me meet the male version of me," said Kashyap.
However, Sinha sounds a note of caution. “While it is difficult to say where and how one will find love, one of the cons of dating in the new city is that it is often strongly driven by a need to avoid isolation. The desperation to be with someone can sometimes make one overlook the other important and essential parameters of choosing a partner to date with,” she said.
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