The Great Indian workplace is full of diverse individuals who, much like the animal kingdom in a jungle, contribute to the survival of the ecosystem at large. Each employee brings a different skillset to the table and contributes towards the growth of their organization. The management zoo infographic by Jeroen Kraaijenbrink, advisor and lecturer at Amsterdam Business school, shows 10 dangerous types of personalities to avoid at the workplace—HiPPO (Highest Paid Person’s Opinion), ZEBRA (Zero Evidence But Really Arrogant) among others. Each of these personalities have been designated an acronym similar to an animal found in a zoo.
In a now viral LinkedIn post, Kraaijenbrink explains these personality types and also suggests a three-step approach to coexisting with these personalities: i) Help them reflect/realize ii) Help them correct and improve iii) avoid or let them go. While "letting them go" seems plausible, it is equally essential for employees to know that these personalities aren’t going anywhere and they exist at every workplace. Perhaps, one needs a holistic approach which consists of addressing these issues and if there is no solution in sight, seeking appropriate recourse. Here are some tips/tricks you can follow in addition to the ones shared by Kraaijenbrink.
DONKEY (Data Only, No Knowledge or Expertise or whY)
This is, perhaps, the easiest category to deal with, simply because you can counter the data-driven assertions made by this employee with additional insights and solid evidence to back your claims. Of course, this won’t be easy but the key is to get your point across without being confrontational or antagonizing this management employee.
Remember, DONKEY’s biggest fear is employees coming at them with solid facts so when you do it, remember to be gentle and not hurt their inflated egos.
HiPPO (Highest Paid Person Opinion)
Now this one is the hardest of all categories to navigate, simply because there often exists no evidence in this case that you can use and convince a HiPPO what they are saying is incorrect. They are at a high position, presumably own some shares of the company you work at so one surely wouldn’t want to ruffle feathers with them.
The best way to navigate a workplace full of HiPPOs is to wait till crisis hits (which it definitely will because HiPPOs tend to self-sabotage) — remember to gently rub in an opinion different from theirs and see how they react. If they give a positive response, you can look into the camera like you are in an episode of The Office and if they still don’t budge, you should immediately open LinkedIn and look for a new job. There are few things in the world more difficult than making privileged, rich company owners check their privilege.
ZEBRA (Zero Evidence But Really Arrogant)
Unlike HiPPOs who wield high power at a workplace, you don’t really need to worry much about ZEBRAS. You with see every board meeting or conference call they attend, they subconsciously show that they are strictly mediocre at their job and don’t really have the credentials to back up their arrogance.
Which is why in such cases, I suggest letting ZEBRA’s exist in their own ‘La La Land’ where they think they are a know-it-all. After, in Gen Z-speak, staying 'delulu' (delusional) is the only 'solulu' (solution).
WOLF (Working On The Latest Fire)
Unlike the three creatures above who often fall in the top-tier of the management, WOLFs mostly exist at a lower level. I would recommend you show empathy to a WOLF if you see one because putting out fires, sometimes those fires which one didn’t even start, can lead to severe burnout and workplace stress.
If you see a WOLF firefighting, show them compassion and if appropriate, suggest they look for a workplace where firefighting is rare, not an everyday scenario. Always remember, firefighting culture at the workplace starts from the top, so that is where the problem lies.
RHINO (Really Here In Name Only)
A RHINO is physically present at the workplace but mentally, they are vacationing in Bali, it is time, perhaps, that you walk up to the HR and in all seriousness, ask them for possible solutions to deal with a RHINO because let’s face it, no one wants to carry dead weight in a team. You can empathize with them only so much — at the end of the day, if you have to take on additional work because of them, it is better you voice this concern to the HR but before you do that, just make sure that the HR themselves aren’t a RHINO (the likelihood of which is high).
SEAGULL (Senior Executive that Always Glides in, Unloads, and Leaves Loudly)
The best way to deal with a SEAGULL is to pretend to be Queen Elizabeth II and plaster a fake smile and nod vehemently in agreement when they waltz in and unload unsolicited advice on you. The key is to pay just enough attention that in case they ask you a question, you respond but not so much that you lose brain cells. Once they leave, go back to your desk, do pranayam and get back to work.
DODO (Dangerous OutDated Opinions)
So, an employee thinks mental health offs are too much to ask for? Or that women shouldn’t get period leaves? It is ok. Your workplace isn’t Twitter (or X) and there is no need to call them out on it and start a discourse. Just take a deep breath each time they say something problematic and pretend you are in an episode of The Office.
VIPER (Vindictive Person Engendering Results)
The problem with VIPERS is that they think their individual growth is more important than the workplace’s progress and that is okay — perhaps, you can take them for a coffee break to the pantry, ask them to chill a little. More often than not, VIPERS carry trauma from their previous workplace to their new workplace so it is possible they project their insecurities on others. Next time they act vindictive, tell them — "be pretty, not petty, please!"
MOUSE (Muddles Opinions Usually Swayed Easily)
MOUSE’s are absolutely harmless unless they are higher in the food chain in which case, you cannot afford to have someone in higher management who is swayed by sweet talk. If you encounter a MOUSE at your workplace, show them how the last person they trusted with an ambitious project failed or that their estimates of Q2 sales were incorrect. With the right guidance, a MOUSE can develop clarity of thought.
PARROT (Pretty Annoying and Ridiculously Repeating Others)
So, you find a colleague of yours annoying. That is okay. The key here is to not let them know that they are annoying, else one-sided dislike might turn into a full-blown office feud. The best thing to do here is to ask PARROTS what they are allergic to and either bring the same food or ingredient in lunch or wear it as an accessory — distance, guaranteed!
Which of these tips will you follow?
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