India’s paradoxes are not just economic and cosmetic. They also manifest themselves in our attitudes towards some matters. This is evident in the current debate over privacy.
Indian culture used to be about talking. In other words, sharing data, often without filter. We discussed career plans, politics and health solutions with strangers on commutes. On epic inter-state journeys we almost set up home with co-passengers. Some of us were stunned to discover that some trains abroad, such as the subway in New York, had ‘quiet cars’, where speaking was frowned upon. We felt that was like a Vipassana centre with a speaking zone.
We talked with friends and colleagues. Neighbours were on par with relatives, although this was owing to physical proximity and support structure needs.
In all this, privacy was not a priority, unlike in the west, where people even grieved in private. In India, during death or misfortune, doors opened wider. You could tell the seriousness of a situation from the amount of footwear outside a door. It is equally true, though, that there were not that many privacy concerns then because there were no smartphones and data theft.
In fact, privacy came up in discussions in India on happy occasions those days. Newly married couples needed privacy, for example. That much was understood and happily granted, at least in non-dysfunctional homes. Of course, there was an underlying demand in the knowing smiles of the elders. “Make us a couple of grandkids.”
Even today, it is not unthinkable for a mere acquaintance to bring up something personal. A 45-plus male colleague once casually explained the changed, family friendly sleeping arrangements at his home as he and his wife “no longer needed privacy.”
A westerner or contemporary Indian may have labelled this as “oversharing”. I thought it was human, free from the often self-imposed, ultimately self-defeating rules of modern society.
The paradox is that not only is talking in our culture, it is also recommended by health professionals. The first thing people say or post when someone falls prey to harassment or health issues is “We need to talk about this. We need to reach out.”
But we don’t always do. Yes, sensitive subjects were not openly discussed in the ‘simpler times’ either. In fact, it was the opposite. But there was no reservation in talking per se. Now, we are caught between our emotions and changing social norms, or worry our data will be stolen. Sometimes it is out of ego too.
It is true that the debate over privacy has other important dimensions to it, such as national security and that of our financial, relationship and health information. And we must call out the perpetrators when that information is disrespected and used by a Silicon Valley tycoon to buy his next hoodie.
Worrying about the rest of the stuff – such as pictures you yourself shared on social media, the people you looked up, the smut you consumed, the shopping you did – is either unnecessary or hypocritical. Besides, it’s too late. We have been online for about three decades. If even Jeff Bezos’ colourful texts are out there, we are all in the same cesspool.
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