If I were to fill a jar with Re 1 coins every time someone asked me to be strong and never give up, I’d be a millionaire. But earning a living doesn’t come as easy for people with disabilities, does it? What this, in fact, made me feel was that my life was a battle that had to be fought and I had to emerge victorious come what may! However, what if I don’t want to be a fighter for just one day? What if I really want to take a break and accept that there are some things that I will not be able to do and that it is okay? But, if I did that, would I come across as someone who gave up a little too quickly? Was it this easy to judge me?
While there has been a lot of awareness with respect to mental health and disability in silos; the intersection has not been explored much. For people with disabilities, who comprise the largest minority in the world — more than 15 per cent — our invisible challenges fail to reach the surface and affect all aspects of our disabled lives. This World Mental Health Day, in line with this year’s theme — Mental Health is a Human Right — let’s deep dive into why mental health is of a greater concern for someone living with a disability and what can people with disabilities do, to manage their mental health better.
People with disabilities are reminded, time and again, to remain strong, come what may; to fight off the battles life throws at them; and always be positive. Having lived with a disability for 25 years, I can say that strong willpower, self-confidence, and perseverance indeed go a long way. But let's accept the fact that living a disabled life is exhausting. Navigating uncountable barriers and challenges to meet even the most basic of needs, like education, employment, and healthcare, is tiring. Having to endure a hefty fight to ensure one has access to things that are a ‘need’ not a want, is infuriating.
Even though diversity forms the foundation of humanity, disability is not quite accepted in society. There have been times when strangers stared at me while I was just being myself or having fun because, apparently, a happy disabled person doesn’t seem to match the vibe, right? It is also equally infuriating to be denied access to restaurants, temples, cinema halls, and every public place that we wish to visit. Planning an outing, be it a long vacation or a brief luncheon, requires extensive planning and research with no guarantee of getting accessible services. Accessing caregiving facilities is also a challenging concern with the number of factors of that affect it such as financial resources. As a result of all the factors combined, it has been seen that people with disabilities are more vulnerable to experiencing distress than their non-disabled counterparts and exhibit unhealthy mental health days five times as often as those without disabilities. One might assume that our impairments are our foes, but research has shown that the stressors of mental health lie in society. This is in line with the social model of disability which proposes that people with disabilities are disabled because of the lack of accessibility, acceptance, and resources that can help them live easier, more inclusive lives.
While inaccessibility in infrastructure constitutes a major source of anxiety and stress, people with disabilities also experience implicit forms of discrimination. These include strangers talking to them as if they’re little children (also known as infantilisation), speaking to their attendants or caregivers and calling them “inspiring”, “courageous” and “strong” just because they happen to live with a disability. People, when they meet, also advise me to not feel bad or that I will become “fine” with time. Only if they were able to put themselves in my shoes (or wheelchair) would they realise that, if given a chance, I would not swap any aspect of my life for anything.
For children with disabilities, mental health becomes an even more critical concern. Their impairments can restrict them from participating in essential activities like play, reinforcing the differences and creating a divide between children with and without disabilities. Such exclusion impacts their mental well-being and puts them at a greater risk of developing mental health difficulties like low self-esteem and mental health conditions like depression than their non-disabled peers. It is also much more difficult for children with disabilities to form friendships because societal conditioning constantly makes them feel that they are unworthy for they cannot do certain things like children can.
As a child, I knew that I had a disability but I was not cognizant enough to be okay asking for support or accommodations to do what my peers were doing. For basic things like a relaxed deadline to complete an assignment, working from home, or compensatory time to finish the exam, I felt obliged and grateful for support. For the longest time, I felt that I had to work harder and exert myself to meet ends, without realizing that I was living in a world that failed to accommodate me and the onus of inclusion lay on society, not on me. But now, I have learned that I’m okay the way I am, and getting reasonable accommodations is my right, which does not make me unworthy.
“If non-disabled people are allowed to crib about traffic, why are we, as disabled people, not allowed to talk about a missing elevator at the workplace?” remarked Sweta Mantrii, a stand-up comic, who lives with Spina Bifida. Sweta weaves anecdotes of living with a disability and fires balls of humor that give a glimpse into the realities of living a disabled life, in a fun way! “I faced resistance while talking about disability in the initial days. People were like ‘Why do you have to complain?’ but over time I have learned to say hard-hitting things that have a lasting impact.”
A lot of times people with disabilities undergo feelings of loneliness owing to numerous factors like accessibility, employment and activity status, living environment, and presence of support networks. Navigating ableism and ableist microaggressions has also been shown to severely affect people’s mental health leading to negative emotions directed at oneself and decreasing the visibility of people with disabilities. While one must do what helps them stay true to themselves and slay, here are some tips to foster healthy mental well-being:
● Finding a community or a safe space can be a cathartic experience for people with disabilities as that can provide an outlet and make one feel that they are not alone. For me, my online friends with disabilities have been a great means of solidarity, who are just a text or call away for me to rant about my day.
● “Be real and not let the internalised ableism or guilt overpower you,” suggests Sweta. Internalised ableism refers to feelings of unworthiness and despair that a person with a disability experiences in response to societal conditioning.
● Reach out for professional help from therapists who have experience working with people with disabilities. This can also help one gather fresh perspectives on ableism, discrimination, and exclusion.
● Practise empathy. Experiences shape people and they evolve with each new experience. If someone behaved in a way they shouldn't have, step back from forming a judgment and help them understand your perspective, because it is through compassion and mutual love, that we’ll be able to achieve our shared goal of an inclusive tomorrow.
This World Mental Health Day, let’s remind ourselves that it is okay to feel what we’re feeling. It's okay to feel angry and infuriated and all the other emotions you’re experiencing with regard to the way society functions (it does a little too overwhelming at times), however, it is also extremely important to have your own back (my wheelchair has mine), seek support and treasure people who celebrate you for who you are. Also, a kind reminder to not measure your own progress through someone else’s yardstick; your journey is yours, own it.
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