Back in 2018, in the very first Test played at the Perth Stadium, Virat Kohli played one of his finest knocks against a full-strength Australia attack in their prime. He batted 373 minutes and faced 267 balls for his 123. Fast forward seven years, and the entire England team didn’t bat as long in the first Ashes Test. Their first innings lasted 32.5 overs and the second 34.4. In 42 Tests under the captain-coach duo of Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum, England have won 25 and lost 15, with a mere two draws. When Bazball clicks, it can blow the opposition away. But all too often, in unfavourable conditions that need a plan B, it falls flat.
T20 mindset?
Even on the most spiteful surface, you expect a side to bat at least 50 overs in a Test innings. In Kolkata last week, on a pitch with variable bounce and sharp turn, only India’s fourth innings – when they were a key batter, Shubman Gill, short – was less than the length of an ODI innings. Under Stokes and McCullum though, England have been bowled out in under 50 overs 13 times in 78 innings. That doesn’t indicate calculated aggression but sheer recklessness.
All fall down
In Perth, England went from likely winners to being thrashed out of sight in the space of four hours. At 65-1 in the second innings, an overall lead of 105, the match was theirs for the taking. Instead, the middle order collapsed in a heap, and despite Gus Atkinson and Brydon Carse wielding the long handle, the target of 205 was challenging rather than impossible.
It's hardly the first time either. With both Harry Brook and Joe Root scoring centuries, England were in total command and on their way to a 3-1 series win against India at The Oval earlier this year. But a combination of the lion-hearted Mohammed Siraj and some incredibly poor shot selection gave India a route back into the game – one they took gleefully.
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Unwanted record
In total, England faced just 405 balls in Perth, the least they’ve faced in a completed Test since 1904. The total balls bowled in the match, 847, was also the lowest in an Ashes Test since the 19th century. It was also the second-shortest Test played in Australia, behind only Sir Donald Bradman’s team’s demolition of South Africa in 1932 (656 balls).
Third-day refund, please
Over 10,000 Barmy Army are estimated to have made their way to Perth for the start of the series. What they got to see was the first two-day Ashes Test since Trent Bridge in 1921. Overall, it was only the 26th two-day finish in nearly a century and a half of Test cricket.
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