My Family and Other Globalizers | What ‘father effect’ is: High time men became daddies of parenting

We are already cognizant of the responsibility a pregnant mother bears for the health of her child. Her diet, vitamin supplements and even her state of mind have all been shown to have an impact on the well-being of her child. Indeed, the nutritional and psychological environment provided by a pregnant woman has been under the research microscope for decades, fuelling guilt and self-recrimination as mothers everywhere second guess everything that enters their bodies.

But we are increasingly discovering that the lifestyle, age, and diet of fathers is reflected in the genetic make-up of their offspring, as well.  For example, there are studies that suggest men who are stressed before conception may predispose their children to high blood sugar. And those who binge drink alcohol are more likely to have kids with congenital heart diseases.

Other research has shown that boys lean on their fathers more than anyone else when it comes to the development of their social skills. Dads also helps with impulse control and memory. Their active presence enhances a child’s ability to respond effectively to new or ambiguous situations. Children who are close to their fathers usually perform better academically, and dads are the biggest factor in preventing drug use and other addictive behaviours. The time a dad spends with his children is also a strong predictor of how empathetic a child will become.

However, these outcomes depend not only on the quantity of time, but more on the quality of time spent by fathers with their children. An engaged father is not the traditional, mentally absent, figure who might always be ensconced on a nearby sofa, yet only comes alive while meting out discipline. Rather, it is someone who helps with homework, attends parent-teacher meetings and displays nurturing behaviours. In essence, the evidence increasingly shows that the orthodox emphasis on a father’s role as provider, his material contribution to family life, is inadequate to the outsized impact his role on parenting can have emotionally and pedagogically.

Unfortunately, fathers still lag behind as responsive caregivers all around the world. According to the Wall Street Journal, a soon-to-be published survey of more than 1,600 teenagers by the Harvard Education School’s Making Caring Common project found that almost twice as many 14- to 18-year-old children feel more comfortable opening up to their mothers (72 per cent) than to their fathers (39 per cent) about anxiety, depression, or other mental-health challenges.

In addition, much “fatherhood” research is being undertaken in the United States, and while many findings might be universally applicable, there remains a need for more culture-specific studies. Or, perhaps, studies are overrated, for they often only prove what we instinctively know from our lived experiences.

The way my little one runs to the door when expecting his father’s return from work travel is proof enough. He jumps into his papa’s arms before my weary spouse has had time to even set down his suitcase — attaching himself to his progenitor like a limpet in love. Then they tussle like bear cubs on the floor, until they can no longer breathe between the laughter and exercise.

I’m still to get my spouse to take over supervising school projects, though. Dear reader, any tips on how to achieve this?