Jealous of your partner's ex? 'Rebecca syndrome' may be to blame, and social media is fueling it

People suffering from Rebecca syndrome become fixated on their partner's exes. (Representational)

Mental health experts are raising red flags over the increasing prevalence of "Rebecca Syndrome" or retroactive jealousy, a condition that’s taking a serious toll on relationships. Psychotherapists are reporting a surge in inquiries related to the syndrome, which involves obsessive thoughts about a partner's past romantic or sexual relationships.

Coined by psychoanalyst Dr. Darian Leader, the term draws inspiration from Daphne du Maurier’s 1938 novel ‘Rebecca’. In the novel, the protagonist spirals into jealousy and insecurity after learning about her partner's former lovers. This fixation, experts warn, is reflective of real-life tendencies among individuals grappling with unresolved emotional issues.

Psychotherapist Toby Ingham, in a recent blog post, outlined the disturbing characteristics of Rebecca Syndrome. “People suffering from this condition become fixated on their partner's exes, often comparing their own appearance, intelligence, and sexual intimacy to that of their partner's former lovers,” he wrote. The obsession leads to a downward spiral of self-doubt, insecurity, and constant questioning of the relationship's stability.

What makes this phenomenon particularly alarming is its deep psychological roots. According to Ingham, retroactive jealousy doesn’t originate in romantic relationships but often stems from childhood experiences of neglect or insecurity.

“Early problems—such as feeling overlooked by a parent or feeling unimportant within the family—can manifest later in life, causing individuals to project these insecurities onto their relationships,” Ingham told MailOnline. He stressed that sufferers of Rebecca Syndrome tend to project unresolved emotional trauma into their present relationships, which can irreparably damage the bond.

The syndrome's reach has been expanding, fueled in part by the rise of social media. A 2018 interview-based study revealed that platforms like Facebook and Instagram facilitate the condition by offering users easy access to their partner’s past, allowing intrusive thoughts to take root.

The ability to endlessly scroll through past photos, posts, or interactions intensifies the obsessive-compulsive nature of the disorder.

Google Trends data further supports the rise in the condition’s visibility. Since 2018, searches for Rebecca Syndrome have been steadily climbing, suggesting more people are becoming aware of the issue, though often misdiagnosing themselves.

Ingham advises individuals dealing with these feelings to avoid conversations about their partner’s past, particularly their sexual history. “Oversharing early in a relationship often comes back to haunt us,” he said.

He added that if someone cannot leave the past behind, discussing it may do more harm than good. His core advice: “Ask yourself whether your anxiety stems from your own past rather than anything your partner has done."