Abhay Deol has done his fair share of drama projects — films which required the actor to delve deeper into the character’s psyche. In the initial years of his acting career, he would find it hard to shake them off. It was not easy for him to be casual and light-hearted even when the camera was not on him, but over the years the actor got around to not taking his work home. However, the Netflix series Trial by Fire put him right back there.
Based on the terrible fire that engulfed Delhi’s Uphaar Cinema in 1997, the limited series captures the heart-breaking journey of Neelam and Shekhar Krishnamoorthy who lost their two children in the tragedy. Deol recalls that there was no lightness or casualness during the shoot of the show. “There was this air of tragedy that hung in the air because we knew we were reliving someone else’s trauma,” the 46-year-old tells over a Zoom call from Goa, saying that he had to work harder in order to get himself out of that head space once the camera was not on him.
The actor finds it almost ironic that living someone else’s trauma could make him suddenly grateful for his own life. “There was gratitude, at the end of the day, for our life being what it is and also to know that we are part of creating something significant. It made me feel good about the kind of work I am doing,” he adds.
Deol plays Shekhar with a quiet restraint, letting his wife Neelam — played by Rajshri Deshpande in a career-defining role — take charge as he plays the supportive husband. Apart from one outburst that his character is shown to be having, there is a simmering anger and helplessness that bubbles beneath the surface and Deol nails it with his understated performance.
“That was one of the instructions from Prashant (Nair, director) — to understand the dynamics of the relationship. Neelam is passionate and extremely vocal and Shekhar balances her out. He takes the backseat because, at the end of the day, we are all individuals and we grieve differently,” he shares, adding that it reminded him a little of the film The Constant Gardener (2005) where Ralph Fiennes’ character is much quieter and contained whereas his wife, played by Rachel Weisz, is passionate and out there, “but that doesn’t mean he is any less passionate than her,” he says, adding that he played Shekhar in the same manner. “It’s vulnerable to be out there and push your emotions out but it’s equally vulnerable to hold them in,” he says, sharing that it’s much harder to be noticed when you’re trying to stay away from the spotlight.
Much like Deol himself, we dare to suggest, which gets us a big laugh from him. “I stay away from the spotlight. Maybe that’s why I was attracted to this character,” he admits, adding that he likes to give the stage to others. “I find the characters who are quiet more interesting because it’s a lot harder to bring attention to someone who is not asking for it,” he says.
For someone who was critically-acclaimed for his acting prowess in films such as Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd (2007), Manorama Six Feet Under (2007), Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye! (2008), Dev.D (2009) and Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (2011), the actor did not take full advantage of the success of his initial few films. “Anyone in my shoes would have done a lot more than what I did,” he candidly confesses, adding that it was part choice, part conditioning and part trauma. “Having grown up in a famous family (he is superstar Dharmendra’s nephew), I had trauma towards fame and stardom because I saw how intrusive it gets. I wanted to avoid being famous. I didn’t want to be a star but therein lay the contradiction. If you don’t want to get famous, you’re basically not wanting people to watch your work or acknowledge your talent,” he says, admitting that he was much younger and unaware that it was conditioning or trauma. “I just thought I was an idealist, which in a way I still am because I believe the work should speak for itself first,” he opines.
There was an aura of mystery around stars when Deol was growing up and at the time he entered the industry. “Today, the more accessible you are, the more you’re going to get famous. The more serious you are, the more covered you will be by the loud noises of everyone else who is making a noise. I was there when that shift was happening and I didn’t invest in PR which is such a crucial part of an actor’s career. I didn’t take too many endorsements; I didn’t want to be a corporate face but a creative one. And again, these are all ideals,” he shares.
The only thing he “arrogantly” states is that he had the “best sense of script and structure in the world”. One look at his filmography and you will find yourself nodding your head in agreement. Apart from the above-mentioned films, the actor was also part of noteworthy projects such as Ek Chalis Ki Last Local (2007), Shanghai (2012) and Raanjhanaa (2013).
Today, the actor is ready to embrace change and to work on himself and learn from the mistakes of his past. For someone who did not believe that marketing and PR is part of his profession, Deol recognises it now. “It’s not that I suddenly want stardom but I am balancing it because there is an arrogance to the idealism. So, one has to drop the arrogance and the ego and see where that idealism takes you, because I am not compromising it in any way. I still don’t have major PR,” he laughs.
So, what’s next for him? “I have always tried to draw the balance between what was considered mainstream and conformist and what was considered non-mainstream and non-conformist. I’m still endeavouring to balance things out,” he says.
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