Try being vulnerable to become better leaders

Vulnerability is not a weakness, for SME leaders, and all other business head, it can be a source of resilience and team building.

“Stay strong. Do not show your weakness. Do not cry in public.” These are pieces of advice given to youngsters, especially if you belong to the male gender. This leads to a stifling of an important aspect of leadership, what we refer to as vulnerability. This is described as the ability to learn to acknowledge, accept fault and appreciate assistance—vulnerability is a vital leadership skill.

As a word, vulnerability is a noun for the most part associated with openness or susceptibility to attack or harm. An example of that usage would be, “He has been isolated because of his vulnerability to infection.”

For an SME leader, however, it is the word’s alternative meaning that is of relevance. It alludes to a willingness to show emotion or to allow one’s weaknesses to be seen or known—a willingness to risk being emotionally hurt. An example would be: Displaying your vulnerability is integral to maintain trust in a friendship or partnership.

Vulnerability is not a weakness. It is at the heart of emotions and feelings. If we prevent ourselves from being vulnerable, we preclude or shut out on experiencing our emotions. Don’t confuse this with the crocodile tears some politicians shed. Our attempts to mask humiliation, discomfiture, loss of face and sadness also prevent us from experiencing love, belonging, elation and empathy. These are some of the words now being increasingly used when we refer to a culture of inclusiveness and one providing the all-important psychological safety. Do not get swayed by what is happening around you in the political landscape.

Leadership

Why is vulnerability important? Understanding this concept is essential for SME sector leaders. Increasingly, with a multi-generational workforce and the constantly changing external environment, we need to have a core that can hold up. Accepting one’s follies or ignorance allows others to be their whole self, with the beauty and the warts that make each person unique.

A lot of research has gone into this aspect of leadership. There are many TED talks on this subject and one popular one, that went viral, is by Dr Brené Brown, called the Power of Vulnerability. Research pioneered by Brown and other scholars indicates that rewarded vulnerability becomes the central mechanism to create psychological safety and is the key to a healthy and high performing culture. Does that mean you reward mistakes and errors? In a way, perhaps. You allow for errors and ideation. In a prestigious university course, there is a penguin award given for the most audacious idea that did not take off. By the way, there are no prizes for the ones that succeeded.

How do you know if you are capable of being vulnerable? Here are some of the aspects associated with vulnerability:

Authenticity: Saying it as you feel it, without filtering it for effect, approval, or other intentions. Sharing your feelings, whether they convey regret, hope, apprehension, or affection, is an act of vulnerability.

Trust: Trusting that you are strong enough to open up to others and that they will support you and not take advantage of you.

Intention: Being vulnerable is not a ploy. Sometimes, people do pretend to be vulnerable to manipulate a population or audience. These tactics do not work in the long run.

Vulnerability helps you break free from the worry of “What will others think?” In order to share different aspects of yourself, you need to know that they exist first. Meaning, you have to accept and embrace those parts of yourself first. Being comfortable with one’s self also means that one is more open to new things. And, as you grow more comfortable being authentic, you will stop being scared of new experiences.

According to DDI world’s Global Leadership Forecast research, 24 percent of senior leaders say they allow themselves to be vulnerable with others at work. And 48 percent say they accept their personal failures and shortcomings. But their direct reports tell a different story. Only 13 percent of executives who report to senior leaders say those leaders are willing to be vulnerable, and 26 percent say those senior leaders genuinely acknowledge their own failures and shortcomings. There could be a couple of reasons for that:

Afraid of being found out: Of revealing that they do not know as much as they professed—this is known as the imposter syndrome.

Admitting failure may cost them their career progression. In a shotgun firing environment, why put a target on one’s back by admitting a flaw?
In his book The Culture Code, Daniel Coyle defines sharing vulnerability as habits of mutual risk that drive trusting cooperation. Sharing vulnerability enables us to express our big ideas without fear of judgement.

From all the parameters around vulnerability, it seems that it is easier to be vulnerable once there is trust. The truth is quite the contrary. When group members feel a freedom to be vulnerable, they open up a passage to build lasting trust. Vulnerability becomes a source of resilience in the face of adversity, and this can make your team invulnerable, allowing members to work joyously and realise their full potential against adversity.